


busco en la memoria una señal (diga que no me olvidaras)

by majorstallmadge



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week, Boys In Love, Carlos is a mama's boy, Day 1: Family, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Tamales, Miscommunication, Temporary Amnesia, and Carlota Reyes is a sucker for green eyes, but don't worry it's short lived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23988952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorstallmadge/pseuds/majorstallmadge
Summary: The doctors said the memory loss would be a temporary situation and Carlos certainly hoped they were right about that. It isn’t as if most of his life is suddenly gone from his memory. Carlos is certain he remembers his life, it’s just the gaps of recent months and things like TK’s existence that is missing from his mind.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 22
Kudos: 244
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week





	busco en la memoria una señal (diga que no me olvidaras)

**Author's Note:**

> The whole 'marriage tamales' concept belongs to [Bellakitse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/profile) and if you haven't read her story [The Marriage Tamales](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271499) you should. You don't need to to understand this one, but trust me that you won't regret it.
> 
> Also, I dare any of you to know the song of this fic title without googling it lol

Carlos parter, Officer Parish is the one to tell him all about his accident, how a branch fell right off a tree onto his head. Lucky for him, the branch was not big enough to cause too much damage, other than a mild concussion.

But that did not stop him from going out like a light as soon as it hit his head, and Carlos was rushed to the ER by the EMT team on site. It didn’t take him long to wake up, but the medical staff fussed all over him and kept him on probation despite him looking no worse for the wear.

Carlos doesn't really mind being looked over and understands the seriousness of his injury, but staying on a hospital bed when he feels mostly fine — even if his head throbbed a little — is something Carlos absolutely loathes.

Then again, according to Parish, Michelle was in one of her moods after Carlos got hit and he is not at all eager to deal with that anytime soon, so maybe lingering on a hospital bed, far from her reach for time being didn’t sound entirely unpleasant.

It turns out that Carlos _did_ , in fact, have some side effects from the blow. What clued them all in was the arrival of a certain firefighter, that crossed the threshold of the room looking dishevelled, out of breath, eyes brimming with concern.

At first, the arrival of the stranger meant nothing to Carlos, he only took a quick glance at said man entering the room before looking back at the doctor in front of his bed, but grew more wary as the stranger approached his bedside and started asking a million questions in one breath. 

Carlos cocked his head in confusion and wonder of who the good looking stranger might be and why he was talking to him, but the look on his face was the cue the doctor needed to ask if he knew the man in question.

Inexplicably, Carlos is hesitant in giving his answer — oddly afraid of hurting the stranger — but he lightly shakes his head and his brows draw together as he registers how his answer throws the other man’s countenance off. That’s not a look that Carlos wishes to see again, it tugs a knot in his heart and he has no idea why.

The doctors said the memory loss would be a temporary situation and Carlos certainly hoped they were right about that. It isn’t as if most of his life is suddenly gone from his memory. Carlos is _certain_ he remembers his life, it’s just the _gaps_ of recent months and things like TK’s — Carlos learns that is the name of the stranger — existence that is missing from his mind.

If asked about it Carlos would never be able to explain how or why he ends up in TK's care after he is discharged. No one even questions the man’s presence by his side. The medical staff defered to TK when talking about what precautions should be taken at home and Carlos was too flabbergasted to speak.

The drive home is uneventful and gives Carlos new opportunities to observe the other man.TK fills their time with clever and nonsensical talk that gets Carlos laughing, carefree all the way. He does notice the furtive glances TK throws in his direction and Carlos tries not to find it completely endearing, but that is a battle he lost before it even began.

As they pull into Carlos driveway, he can’t help but wonder about TK’s role in his life, because he is aware that TK did not ask for directions to his house, he drove them through the streets of Austin like it was a second nature to him, the path from the hospital to his house one that TK’s very familiar with. That is enough evidence in Carlos' judgment to suggest that TK is no mere acquaintance and that they have a deeper relationship than the few months they knew each other.

Carlos decides then that he will wait for the right moment when they are properly set up inside his house to ask TK more questions about himself because, ever the cop, Carlos is eager to start filling the missing puzzles in his mind and TK is a big one, without a doubt.

“Are you hungry?” TK asks him, a gentle smile adorning his face as they drop their stuff in the living room. “I could make you something to eat. I know hospital food isn’t up to your high standards.” TK lips curl conspiratorially, like that knowledge about Carlos amuses him more than anything else in the world.

Carlos can’t help but grin back. If TK knows that about him, he must know him pretty well. “Yes,” He calls back as he settles down on the couch, facing TK. “But I don’t remember how talented you are,” He teases the other man. “I might be setting myself up to eat something even worse than hospital food.” 

“You injure me, sir!” TK replies in mock insult, clutching a hand over his heart. Carlos chuckles at TK’s theatrics. 

“I will have you know that while I might not make tamales to _die_ for, I'm a pretty decent cook.” TK says but his eyes sparkle with delight over their little exchange.

Carlos amusement dies on his lips, staring at TK, eyes wide and mouth open in surprise.

“What?” TK asks, dumbfounded at the sudden change in Carlos' expression. 

“Have I…” Carlos' voice trembles, feeling choked up. “Have I made you tamales before?” Carlos' heart is beating fast, like it wants to be free from his chest. He can feel the blood rushing through his veins, warmth spreading all over him.

“Yes, many times,” TK hesitates, eyes scanning Carlos' face for any indication of what just happened. “Is there something wrong, Carlos?” TK asks weakly, his early cheery mood suddenly gone.

“No, no…” Carlos licks his dried lips. “Nothing is wrong.” Carlos' murmurs. “I would love to see how decent you are at cooking, especially when you set the bar so low for yourself as an improvement from hospital food.” He tries to switch back to their earlier mood, hoping TK won’t question it further.

“You got it, officer.” TK throws him a wink and swings back to man the kitchen.

It all makes sense to Carlos now. He and TK are dating, and that is why no one even batted an eye when TK showed up and kept Carlos company. Austin Memorial is one of their to go places, so the staff is familiar with a good number of the first responders that constantly show up with some occupational hazard. Since Carlos did not recognize TK, they must have decided not to overwhelm him with the fact that he didn’t remember who his own boyfriend was.

TK is really something special for handling it all like a champ, not saying a word and not making a move to make him feel uncomfortable. He had been nothing but thoughtful and tender since they left the hospital. No wonder he made his marriage tamales, not once but several times.

Carlos smiles thinking that he did pick a good one, and really easy on the eyes as well. TK was a _hunk_ of a man.

When his mother taught him and his sisters how to make her famous tamales, she made them promise that they wouldn’t make it for anyone but for the person they wanted to marry, their other half. Carlos and his sisters, being die hard romantics, took their promise to heart. So far only Valentina and Sofía had cooked their mami’s marriage tamales for their now husbands.

If Carlos made them for TK, it can only mean one thing: he’s hopelessly in love. Carlos' heart fills with warmth and joy for having found his other half in TK. His heart swells remembering how delighted TK's voice sounded when he talked about Carlos tamales and he is sure an affectionate look adorns his face.

Carlos marvels as TK cooks them dinner and there’s no denying the man is used to the place. He knows where Carlos keeps _everything_. He doesn't waver for a moment, looking absolutely comfortable in Carlos' kitchen, like that is a natural occurrence… and Carlos figures it must be.

He guesses they are not yet on the ‘living together’ stage yet, but to Carlos it looks like it’s just a matter of time. A smile tugs at the corner of Carlos' lips and he tries to fight it, certain it will become a shit eating grin of triumph.

TK was his boyfriend for sure.

“So, how long have we been together?” Carlos breaths, eager to know more about them.

TK looks up, quirking his eyebrows. “Together?” 

Carlos rolls his eyes indulgently before repeating his question. “How long have we been dating?” 

“We are not together.” TK states, a little strained, his face blank.

“Did we break it off?” Carlos pouts, confused. If they broke it off then why did TK show up in the hospital looking like he had run a marathon to get there? Why did he look so worried? Were they still on a friendly enough basis that TK would still worry for his well being?

“No, I mean…” TK pauses, rubbing his forehead before continuing. “We are kind of hooking up?” He shrugs his shoulders.

 _Oh_. Carlos is speechless and feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. If he made TK tamales and they are just ‘ hooking up’, then Carlos must be more invested than TK . Carlos knows his heart just broke a little in that moment, and he wants to punch himself for being so _stupid_ and setting himself up for a heartbreak. TK isn’t in love with him. 

He wants to throw up just thinking that this might be how TK acts around everyone and it's not just something special for him. He just can't believe he would break his promise over someone that considers him a… _booty call._

It just doesn't add up.

 _God_ , his mami would be so disappointed in him, actually, she wouldn’t, she would be sad, just like he is at the moment. He still doesn't remember anything about his and TK’s _relationship_ — if one can call it that — but he feels the loss keenly.

“Why do you ask that?” TK’s voice takes Carlos from his internal struggle. 

Carlos ponders at how he should proceed forward with this conversation. TK has the upper hand of knowing their story, for a lack of better word, and Carlos would be shooting in the dark all through it… but isn’t lack of communication what apparently led them to this moment? Because TK does appear to be clueless about the meaning of the tamales and even about how deep Carlos' feelings were running before the accident. He settles on telling the truth, better clear any misunderstanding than playing whatever game that they got themselves into.

“TK..” Carlos' clears his throat. “I don’t remember you or us.” He states matter of factly, hoping TK would not be hurt by it. “So, I don’t understand the reasons behind a lot of things I’ve witnessed today.” Carlos takes a deep breath, hoping for strength, but he just feels defeated. 

“But when you said I had made you those tamales… they have meaning for me, for my family.” He chances a glance up and visibly sees TK flinching. “My _mami_ taught me and my sisters how to make it and they are meant for a special person in our lives,” He didn’t _need_ to tell TK the whole marriage part, did he? It was all very serious already. “A _really_ special person.” Carlos catches TK’s eyes in hope that he can convey through them his true meaning, and by how TK’s eyes widen, he is sure he understood it.

“So I just...thought that meant we were together.” Carlos swallows dry and avoids TK’s stare. “I’ve never cooked them for anyone before.” He admits it hollowly. Carlos knows that this is it, this is how things with TK will go south. He doesn't know how he knows it ,it's a gut feeling.

Carlos doesn't dare to steal a look at where TK is standing, afraid of what he might see, but he just can’t bring himself to fill in the awkward silence that took over the room. He glues his eyes to the upholstery as he tried to blink away the tears.

“I…” Carlos hears TK’s breathing grow uneven. “I can’t, Carlos. This… this is all too much.”

Against his better judgment, Carlos peeks at TK and he looks... _agitated_. His pupils dilated, his hands fumbling with the sleeves of his shirt and his teeth gnaws at the loose skin on his lips. Carlos does not know what to say, he can hardly process TK’s erratic behavior.

TK starts pacing between the small space from the kitchen to the living room. “This is not what I signed up for, not what we agreed..” TK blurts in accusation and Carlos flinches. 

“You know —” TK stops mid sentence, because before the accident Carlos did know, the one in front of him now has no idea whatsoever. “I’m just not good with relationships and I’ve told you before. You _knew_ this, Carlos.” TK emphasis feels like a sucker punch. “I’ve told you so many times how hard this is all for me, plus the move and my dad—” TK’s voice turns into a whine, running his fingers through his hair while pacing back and forth, practically caving a hole through the ground floor. “I just can’t _believe_ you would not get that.” TK sighs.

Carlos wants to say something, but what? God, this is messed up and Carlos can’t help but feel a little guilty for TK’s reaction. While one can’t fight how their feelings develop, if TK told him about his struggles, keeping the charade in hopes that TK would eventually caught up to him was not his brightest moment; but Carlos knew himself. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Even if TK was unaware of the importance behind the tamales, Carlos is very affectionate and TK would have to be really emotionally obtuse not to realise the magnitude of Carlos feelings.

_They were both idiots._

“Honestly, Carlos.” TK _tsked,_ irritated. “You always knew and to do this...I’m sorry, but I’m gonna go.” TK reaches for his jacket, wallet and keys on the table and Carlos just watches him. “I will call Michelle and ask if she can check on you, I’m just not in the mood right now.” 

Before Carlos can even put a word in, TK is pulling the door close with a loud thud that makes Carlos flinch a little. It would be a lie if he said that the fact that TK didn’t look at him even once doesn't sting.

\------------------------------------------

The knock on his front door startles him. Carlos isn't waiting for any visitors and it was past ten o’clock so he frowns, thinking who could be at this hour. Looking through the peephole, Carlos leans his forehead on the door and sighs heavily.

A part of him wants to pretend he did not listen to the knock on his door, but his lights are on and TK probably saw that as he walked through the front yard, so TK would know he was being ignored. Which all things considered wouldn't be all bad.

But the other side of him wants to open the door and take whatever TK throws against him once more. Carlos knew there was never really a doubt on what he was going to do.

"Hey," TK greets him awkwardly. "I hope I’m not bothering you this late". TK bites his lips and Carlos can't help but trace the movement. 

"I was just about head out to bed," Carlos replies, restrained. He really has no idea what TK is doing on his front door at this hour, after _everything_ , but he could really use the distance. Plus he was too emotionally tired to have this conversation.

“I…” TK's voice comes out broken. He sighs, looks at the ground and bites his upper lip, uncertain. Carlos really _can’t_ with this man right now. 

“Listen,” TK stars over, this time his voice firm and he looks Carlos straight in his eyes. “I know you are upset. You have the right to be, but can I please come in and talk to you?” TK pleads. “I swear I will say what I have to say and after that I will keep my distance, okay?”

Carlos really wants to say no. He is too caught up in his emotions right now and he needs a break. Having TK this close would be the exact opposite of that, but if he learned something over the last two days — as if by magic, several memories were just _there_ , like they never left him in the first place — it is that Carlos is _weak_ for TK Strand.

It's a feeling that Carlos can’t explain, but TK means so much to him — TK means _everything_ to him. He is under his skin and etched on his heart — and even if he isn’t in the mental state for this, he knows he will say ‘yes’ because Carlos is _weak_ and _greedy_ for TK. That is why Carlos made TK his marriage tamales, even if there is no chance of reciprocity. He’s hopelessly in love and doomed to feel it fiercely.

“Sure,” Carlos answers and shrugs. “Come in.” He makes way for TK to come in and closes the door behind them. Carlos slowly makes his way towards the center of the living area, unsure if he should sit somewhere or if he should just stand his ground. 

TK isn’t having a better time, Carlos notices, as he also stands awkwardly in the middle of his living area, looking around him, a small container tucked in one of his hands.

“Carlos,” TK begins. “I know my response was a bit _reluctant_ the other day.” 

Carlos snorts at that. 

“Okay, I freaked out and it was uncalled for.” Carlos did hate how TK could easily make him smile, even in a moment like this. “I shouldn’t have panicked like that, specially when you had just gotten out of the hospital and were still trying to figure things out, but I was taken back with everything.” TK has the decency to look contrite.

Carlos is proud of holding TK’s apologetic glance, but face blank, without uttering a word in reply, daring the other man to keep going or leave if he couldn’t do this.

“I really should have been more rational, and known you didn’t remember my track record with relationships that day… and I—” TK’s voice falters and closes his eyes for a moment. “I messed up.” Carlos can see TK is twisting his foot on the ground and has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep the smile off his face at TK’s childish mannerism. “I just… like you _a lot_. And I’m so _fucked up_.” TK swallows the burning feeling on his throat. “I still have _no idea_ what you see in me. Like you could have anyone, you are _amazing_ , yet your eyes are always on _me_ ,” TK’s eyes fill with tears, but Carlos could see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down several times before he got out the words. “And I feel so special and loved, but I also feel like running before you look too close and starts seeing the cracks.” TK laughs bitterly, tears now flowing freely.

Carlos has to fight the urge of comforting TK. All he really wants is to wrap him in a hug and whisper sweet nothings into his ear, washing his insecurities away; but he stands still. If TK wants him, he will have to say the words. Carlos is done playing games.

“And when you do, it will all be over.” TK whispers, tugging his sleeves over his tearful cheeks. If the house hadn’t been in complete silence, Carlos fears he might not have listened. “These past two days, I couldn't stop thinking about you and what you told me.” He sniffs. “No one has ever made me feel as special as you, Carlos. You made those tamales for me even though I'm a trainwreck.” TK bites back a sob and Carlos digs his nails into the palms of his hands, hanging by the last thread of his willpower. Carlos is positive his face is twisted with pain. “And that’s all I ever wanted: to be loved and cherished, like you’ve done for me from day one.” TK's eyes are shining with tears but he locks them with Carlos' anguished ones. “Even If I tried not to, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you, Carlos.” 

Carlos' heart was ringing on his ears. This was not the “ _It’s-not-you-it’s-me_ ” speech he was expecting when he opened the door. TK just admitted to being in love with him and Carlos froze, overcome with joy and disbelief. He wanted to finally allow himself to reach for TK, but he was _greedy_ when it came to TK Strand and now he wants it _all._

TK walks closer to where Carlos is standing in small, tentative steps. “You told me that in your family when you find your special someone, you cook them tamales.” TK gives him a small smile as he closes the gap between them. “I made these for you.” TK says as he opens the lid of the container in his hands. Carlos peers down at the content of the box and almost chokes. He whips his head up, eyes meeting TK longing ones.

 _Tamales_.

_TK made him tamales._

"TK…" Carlos whispers, overwhelmed.

“I called your mother and asked her for the recipe.” Carlos' eyes widened at TK’s revelation. TK bites his bottom lip and breaks their stare. “I’m sorry,” Carlos can hear the anxiety in TK’s voice. “I know I crossed a line, I mea—”. Carlos interrupts TK, lunging in for a kiss, wrapping his free arm around TK’s neck. As soon as their lips connect, TK moans and Carlos can't help but surge forward, in an effort to deepen their kiss and grind their hips closer.

He missed kissing TK. The taste of his lips is always enough to drive Carlos up through the walls. They broke their kiss so they could breathe, but Carlos quickly chased TK’s lips again, trying to nip TK’s swollen pink lips and TK couldn’t help but laugh at Carlos' antics.

Carlos' heart is bursting with joy. The sound of TK’s laugh echoes like sweet music to his ears. He couldn’t believe TK cooked him his family’s marriage tamales. _God_ , TK faced his _mami_ without his backup just so he could get the recipe. He isn’t the possessive type, but there was not a chance in hell Carlos is ever letting TK go now. He is keeping him.

TK eventually allows Carlos to nip his lips playfully, smiling at each other like fools in love. “Does that mean you like it?” TK asks, looking dazed and Carlos leans in and rubs their noses together in eskimo kisses. He knows TK will never admit that he loves when Carlos does that. 

“I can’t believe you, TK.” Carlos' voice is in awe. “I can’t believe you called my mother.”

“You’re not upset?” TK asks against Carlos lips, still unconvinced.

Carlos rubs their noses gently one more time before going for a quick peck. “No,” Carlos replies cheerily, a huge smile growing on his face. “But now you are stuck with me, buddy, because not only have you sealed the deal with the tamales, but Carlota Reyes will never let me live this down and you are going to suffer with me for the rest of your life since it’s all your fault.”

TK answers him with the most delicious peal of laughter and Carlos takes a step back to place the container over his coffee table. He reaches for TK, wrapping his arms around his waist and nosing TK’s neck. Carlos grins when he hears TK’s groan.

“Your mother is really _something_ ,” TK tells him after a while and Carlos is glad that he can hear the fondness in his voice. “You know, she only gave me the recipe after I sent her a selfie and I quote: ‘ _I’m only doing this because I want my grandbabies to have green eyes_ ”. 

Carlos rolls his head back with laughter. That sounds _exactly_ like his mami.

“Carlota Reyes is a sucker for green eyes. Better not disappoint her then, hun?” Carlos asks.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” TK answers, leaning in for a kiss before teasing, “Bet our kid will have her wrapped around their tiny little fingers, hun?” TK’s green eyes sparkle with mischief and Carlos can’t help but commiserate with his _mami_ because he is already wrapped around TK Strand's fingers and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading and feel free to leave a comment below! <3
> 
> come join me on [tumblr](https://poeedamerons.tumblr.com/)


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